And How Can We Strengthen It?
Among all the concepts related to ‘self’, the feeling of self-worth or worthiness is the most important. Self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, self-respect and other similar concepts are all important, but the basis of all of them is a true sense of ‘worth’.
When it comes to knowing the feeling of self-worth, we should understand our inner worthiness and become able to strengthen our own worth. And to practice it in real life, we need to know the base of self-worth…
What Is Sense Of Worth?
Simply put, self-worth is the amount of importance we attach to ourselves: An emotional perspective of ourselves that determines how we feel about ourselves in comparison to others and what is the reason for it.
The feeling of worth is a fundamental part of our existence and shapes our perception of ourselves. Everything we think about them, every feeling we have and even how we behave is a product of the value we give ourselves. Feeling valuable is a sensitive issue. Here you can find some recommendations for identifying your own value.
Value Theory:
Many people only feel valuable when they achieve a certain success. Based on self-worth theory, a person recognizes himself by achieving his goals in life. Empowerment, determination, performance and self-esteem are the elements of this theory.
These 4 elements in combination determine how we look at ourselves. Although achievements and successes are valuable, is it right to give them so much importance? Is being better than others the only thing that makes us value ourselves? What really gives us a sense of worth?
The True Meaning Of Feeling Valuable
It may be difficult to accept ourselves as we are, without impressive possessions or our dream job. This acceptance is so painful for some that they do everything to escape from it. There is also a possibility that some people are afraid of self-awareness! It is natural for a person to run away from such pain and fear. But this process is necessary to discover our own value and we should not hide from it. Behind the curtain of every apparently painful feeling, we reach an endless liberation. The first step in this direction is self-awareness. Self-awareness is the key to achieving a sense of worth.
We all have an image of who we want to be. Sometimes this image is not the same as our real self. It is good to have different goals and ambitions; But we should never let our dreams make us hide our true selves. Self-denial of the enemy is a valuable feeling. It is the desire to deny that makes self-awareness difficult. Many people do not want to distance themselves from their idea about themselves. They don’t want to accept their true selves.
Self-esteem is not a bad thing. This makes us accept our weaknesses and focus on our strengths. Sometimes we are not aware of many of our positive qualities. Self-awareness helps us discover them. In the way of valuing ourselves, we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. By delaying self-awareness, we actually delay liberation and recovery. The feeling of self-worth comes when we know who we are and what positive qualities we have.
Common Effective Factors In Value Measurement
The four elements mentioned earlier are not the only factors that determine the feeling of value; Many other factors are effective in the amount of value a person places on himself, factors such as childhood crises, low grades and even bullying.
The most common factors based on which a person determines his worth are:
1. Circle Of Relationships
Many times, people determine their credibility based on the number of important people they know and have a close relationship with.
2. Physical And Emotional Expression
Judging and validating people based on their appearance happens in all of us. What people wear, how they talk and what society thinks about them is important to people.
3. The Profession
Occupation and profession are effective in valuing people. A person may be cold in dealing with nurses, but be friendly with doctors; Because he believes that a doctor is a more successful person! People’s profession often plays a role in determining the importance of their life.
4. Property
The amount of assets, from the amount of salary to the number and type of your car, is another factor that is effective in measuring your value. Usually, material assets are considered.
What Should Not Be Considered A Valuable Feeling?
There are many false beliefs about the value of people. These beliefs make some people value themselves less than they deserve; For example, material possessions should not be considered as an indicator of people’s worth.
Human Value Has Nothing To Do With Profession
Our profession should not affect the value we place on ourselves. Many times, people with high skills and abilities do not find a suitable job; Therefore, they are forced to work in a lower position. This situation does not reduce their skills and abilities. So why should a person’s value be determined based on his job and profession? The only thing that matters is job satisfaction.
Human Worth Has Nothing To Do With Achievements
Success is valuable, but it should not influence our own worth. No title, certificate or medal can determine our worth.
Human Value Has Nothing To Do With Age
“Age is just a number!” This sentence may sound like a cliché, but your age has nothing to do with your readiness to face events and facts. It is enough to ask and decide.
The Value Of A Person Has Nothing To Do With His Love Life
Feeling good about ourselves because someone else feels good about us is deceptive. But what if that person leaves us? Whether you are single or not, don’t make your emotional relationship the basis of your self-evaluation.
Human Worth Has Nothing To Do With Grades And Ranks
Even if you are the least intelligent person in the class, your value is not less than the smartest person in the class. You have qualities that may be superior to some of the best students in the class.
Human Value Has Nothing To Do With Health
Diseases may weaken our spirit. Positive people usually recover faster; So don’t forget positive thinking. Beyond this, our health does not make us more valuable.
Human Value Has Nothing To Do With Financial Status
People should not be valued with their money and material possessions! If you are satisfied with the situation and can afford the living expenses, then there is no problem.
Human Value Has Nothing To Do With Taste
Do others think you are too traditional for this era? The opinion of others is not important. The important thing is that you don’t have a problem with this issue.
The Importance Of Feeling Valuable
The best advantage of knowing our own worth is the effect it has on our behavior. The feeling of worth affects our actions and conscious choices. A sense of worth makes us avoid what has a negative effect in our life and accept things that make us a better person.
The feeling of worth is what makes us happy even without success, money and possessions. When we reach a healthy level of self-worth, life becomes more meaningful!
How To Recognize Our Own Value?
Finally, you accepted self-awareness. But you don’t feel good about yourself… You do not see any remarkable features in yourself…. You think you are an ordinary person who has nothing to offer to others! You feel the need to have your worth validated…. You want to achieve something… Even your heart wants there to be a test to measure human worth. But you should know that the feeling of worth comes from ‘inside a person’.
I emphasize again:
The feeling of worth comes from the value that you give to yourself.
The fact that you exist and are a nice person is valuable enough!
Power
Power comes from discovering the features you are interested in! These features always remind us of our values when we feel low. You don’t have to look for big things. Think of a list of talents, things you like about yourself that make you stand out, challenges you’ve overcome, contributions you’ve made to others, and other highlights. Your power is hidden in these cases.
Attaching Value To Things And People Is Dangerous
Trying to gain credit with things and people is a harmful decision. This will make you not see your hidden abilities and not understand that you are a capable person. Trying to get external approval causes frustration and disappointment. Find the value within yourself. This is the key to a healthy life.
Click here to read ‘How To Leave The Comfort Zone?’
How To Strengthen The Feeling Of Worth?
Now that you know what things can destroy a sense of worth. It is time to learn how to make it stronger and then maintain it. To begin with, replace the valuable things you discovered in yourself earlier with more productive activities.
See the following examples:
A Person Who Considers His Worth In Academic Or Work Superiority:
Take some time off from work or studies (don’t spend more than usual time on them). Start a new activity. Learn a new skill, such as making music or riding a horse. Read an unusual book.
A Person Who Considers Their Value in Their Relationships In Social Networks:
Leave the virtual world and social networks for a while. Spend time with real people. Go for long and productive walks. Be careful what words you use and what you do. Show your friends and acquaintances that you care about them. Have their air.
In the way of identifying your values, never compare yourself with others! When comparing, self-awareness disappears. You don’t see your abilities anymore. This is the comparison that determines our value based on the indicators of others. Maybe it’s better to define rules for yourself.
With the passage of time, it becomes easier to get rid of the heavy weight of not knowing your worth, It becomes easier to do the things you believe in. Do not doubt the success of this process.
Be sure that your journey to discover your values will be the most fruitful experience of your life!
Use The Following Methods To Strengthen Your Sense Of Worth:
1. Make A List Of Your Talents And Skills
We all have something to offer! Humans have amazing abilities and can learn a lot. Make a list of your skills and talents. By recognizing your strengths, you push back your weaknesses and allow your strengths to shine.
2. Forgive Yourself And Others
Forgive yourself for all your faults and shortcomings! Learn from your mistakes. Despite the constant guilt and shame, you cannot reach a healthy level of self-worth.
3. Take A Risk
The only reason you haven’t done something great for yourself is that you still have doubts about doing it or not! Don’t be afraid of taking risks to get better. Stop doubting your abilities and move forward. If you don’t succeed the first time, you learn to take a different path next time. Get up and do great things.
4. Love Yourself
Accept yourself as you are. If you have some negative traits, try to correct them. Living in denial is wrong. This will only delay the liberation.
5. Be In Touch With Nice People, And Make A Healthy Network Of Good People
Healthy people attract each other. Good habits destroy bad habits (overcoming bad habits). Surround yourself with the changes you want. Connect with people who have overcome their doubts and are on the path of discovering their values like you.
Everyone should reach a healthy physical, emotional, social and mental life by evaluating their values. We must consciously take steps to pay attention to others and, more importantly, pay attention to ourselves. The feeling of self-worth is a rich source and meaning of life satisfaction.
Click here to read about ‘The Magical Power Of Your Beliefs!’
A Friendly Word:
You should know that you may lose some people or even some of your friends on the way to discovering your values and personal growth. This does not mean that people will leave you or you will loose them because you want to work on yourself and improve yourself and your life. But sometimes, some people who don’t consider themselves valuable, give themselves strength by being with each other, or seeing everything based on their past experiences and knowledge. And sometimes, the self-confidence you gain on your growth path, may seem like a threat to some people, because some people are afraid of change, and some afraid of things being our of their usual way. And there may be some people who don’t get you at first or some complications and complex situations many rise up, but then they will see and get you or you will see and get them, this words both ways, but for these kinds of situations, there might be complexities, but they have an eye of solutions even if it takes them time or needs them to gather courage in them, or it might be you who faces this situation, but it might happen, life has many many unseen ways for things and peoples behaviors and for the resolutions or decisions we take toward them. So don’t limit things just to one way or another, there are many other ways that you know nothing about yet… And its ok if its like that, it means you are flexible and willing to see things differently. So there is no problem if some people can’t understand you at times, or don’t see things as you do, this is the reality of human nature: We are not all the same, and while it makes life challenging sometimes, it makes it beautiful too…
But you have to be very careful about your own scale and mindset, falling from the other side, may give you a temporary but fake self-steam, but it will not have a longlisting and beneficial result. You really have to be mindful about your own thoughts and motivation even in a subject like self-worth… You have to be brave enough to look at the person that you really are and ask yourself, where are you standing in life and why? Where are you really heading next and why? Where does the thoughts, feelings and motivations in you come from right now and why? You have to make sure that it is you, who is in control of all these things and you need to be really clear and straightforward in order to keep yourself in the right direction. You can always ask this question: Does this come from goodness? A good place in me and my mind? Or is mind tricking me with false things that don’t lead me to what holds the true goodness? When ever you came to the realization that something in you is giving you a false feeling of self-worth, you can always pause, reevaluate things in yourself and your life with an honest review and then take a better step next, or do positive changes in yourself or your direction. Because as long as you really step toward goodness in life and with good intentions, your self-worth will only be growing, and life will be showing you more and more brightness in your path.
What about the people who distance themselves?
Everyone does have a spirit, which can be refined, a body, which can be trained, and a suitable path, that they can go to, or change for better.
It is ok if the roads with some of the people in our life is not always the same and sometimes get separate. There for sure will be people who may not want to support or understand, or may not know the way to support your effort for change and growth, some people really don’t know how you want them to think and act, and some people really don’t know how to at all. But you always can communicate, you always can explain, explain again, explain differently, discuss things or connect to the people who matter to you, and the people who ‘you’ matter to, will always be in your life, one way or another. The reality is it is always a both sides road in human connections. They too just like you, will find ways and won’t hesitate to keep connections alive and come up with solutions. As they say true love never ends. True and meaningful human connections never end too. The people that wish to support your growth and wellbeing will definitely understand you at some point or try for it, and even if they don’t understand you and your efforts for change and for gaining or regaining your inner worth, they will wish the best for your wellbeing and growth in their own way, but you have to know, that their own way, may not be the same as your, and you have to be okay with that, they are human-beings like you are, give them as much value as you give yourself, because it won’t make you or them any less.
And for everything else, let life show you things its own way sometimes, as you don’t always know everything. While the efforts you put, and the feeling of worth you gain, will make you able to try your best to live a ‘worthy life’. You have to remember that to ‘life’ and to the source of creation, you are always ‘worthy’ of many good things, seen and unseen. And as long as you are willing to try your best, as long as you want to have this ‘inner worth’ not far from the true goodness, it means you can ‘think good’, ‘behave good’ and ‘act good’ or try for applying them in your every thought, action and step. It is seen by the universe, and life too will unfold its magical gifts for you, in return. Because you are really worthy, inside and out!
*Make your growth and progress an inspiration for others… 🙂
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